Though You Slay Me
Last week, week 3 of treatment and the Mrs and littles’ second week in Arizona during this journey was probably the most difficult yet for our family. The best all encompassing word to describe ALL the feels was “TIRED”. We all felt spent and depleted.
Cliff Notes Summary of Week 3:
Kelly received his first round of the low-dose chemo specialty process on Tuesday, January 23.
Labs were redrawn Wednesday 1/24, and results Thursday 1/25 showed that pursuing the planned second dose of chemo that day was not best.
Kelly’s white blood cell count (WBC) had increased from 5.2 Monday to 18.6 Wednesday
Kelly’s kidney function had dropped from GFR 26 on Monday to 24, and Creatinine had popped over 3.
To be safe, treatment Thursday pivoted from chemo infusion to immune system and kidney support, ruling out significant infection, and helping Kelly recover. His body did just that! Praise God his WBC was already trending appropriately back down with Thursday’s redraw.
The Mrs and kiddos felt the weight of the constant travel (on a plane every Friday), busy schedule, uprooted routines, and little to no margin in the in-betweens. It’s amazing how the simple things, like constantly needing GPS while in AZ takes away small spaces of “self-regulation” and calm that you’d normally gravitate to. Tears were frequent last week all around . . . but we are making space for it. We aren’t pushing it away. Learning to feel the feels and surrender them to the Lord.
Kelly felt “off” from Tuesday’s chemo through Saturday 1/27 or Sunday 1/28.
We felt more affirmed that we are “in the right place” for Kelly’s treatment needs. The clinic was so attentive to Kelly’s body and responses to the chemo. Praise God!
I was sharing a tearful update with some friends this week about the Week 3 that was in AZ. I commented that I can relate more now than ever to the up and down emotions we read in the Psalms . . . the praise and the grief, the pain and the joy, . . . but in each step, we are continuing to feel God’s presence throughout it all. In the tearful moments, He is present. In the joy and laughter He is present. He is often using the extended communities around us to be His hands and feet. THANK YOU!
I concluded much of my sharing with my friends about the reality that at every church service these days I cannot get through the worship set without tears rolling down my face. My words were something along the lines that the worship music “slays me . . . He’s just so worthy of praise, no matter what!”
In response to that share, a friend sent me this song by Shane & Shane and it’s totally on point. A perfect anthem for Week 3. Thank you Lord.