What Our Hearts Need
When we arrived to the Emergency Room on Wednesday evening, October 4, 2023, we had no expectation of being admitted. We figured Kelly’s labs would be redrawn, fluids provided, a non-contrast CT, and a nephrology referral for the week to follow up with and get the ball moving regarding the abnormal kidney labs we had experienced. Nope, instead an admission and upcoming kidney biopsy was recommended.
I began to scramble for a game plan. Thankfully a friend had come, pretty immediately when called, the moment we realized that an ER visit was necessary. Such a blessing! Now I needed to figure out how to get my hubs settled in the hospital, leave him for the night to get my kiddos settled, and arrange an early morning baby sitter so that I could return to the hospital immediately to be with Kel during the next stages of the plan of care. My mind began to race. Again, we were blessed within another friend’s availability and willingness to get to the house in the early morning hours to follow.
Thankful to have an established plan, I kissed Kelly goodnight and headed home for a shower, some potential rest, and a game plan to return early in the morning - most likely leaving early before any of the kids would wake. As I drove home, alone, the emotions began to flow. “What the heck is going on!? Why are my husband’s kidneys looking so wonky on the labs?! Now his blood pressure is elevated - what the heck!? What is this lesion they saw on the right kidney? What is this “mass” that the radiologist mentions in the mesentery?!” What is going on?!??”
And then the emotions of a mother, “how do I let my kiddos know that their daddy unexpectedly is spending the night at the hospital? How do I wake them early to say “see you later” before I leave for the hospital?!” [2 of my 3 do not do well with morning wake ups, they need to be the ones, or think they are the ones, that stir when it is time to rise] Tears rolled. And I prayed, “God, help me share with my kiddos and know how to do so”.
BUT GOD.
I got home, said goodnight and thank you to the baby sitter. Closed down the home and jumped in the shower. While I bathed, BOTH of my boys woke independently and came into the bathroom to pee. BOTH boys, independently, were seemingly “wide awake” and talkative with me, “hey mom! How’s it going?” I was able to pause with each of them, pop my head out of the shower, look them in the eyes, and share the happenings of the day and night. I was able to let them know dad was in the hospital, and why, and that I would be leaving before they woke to go be with dad, but they would be having fun with the baby sitter. Each of them discussed and shared understanding - and gave sweet kisses to their momma goodnight!
MY HEART SWOONED. Thank you, Lord, that You care for the details and know what our hearts need -not just me, but my children as well! THANK YOU!
Written by Mrs. McGoo